Perfection

I love to poop. Really, there are few -- very, very few -- things more satisfying than the perfect poop. Out it slides, clean and perfect, graced with the kind of precision golfers dream of. Out one hole and in another, without fuss or hang-up.
After the perfect poop, you are lighter. Not only in the obvious, physical sense (the perfect poop weighing in 6.3 ounces), but also in a spiritual sense. You're step is lighter, your smile brighter, the laughter more carefree when you've just had the perfect poop.

Personally, I define the perfect poop by several characteristics:
1) one, or in the rarest cases, no wipes needed
2) lack of splash
3) effort, preferably lack of
4) aesthetic, as it pertains to bowl position
5) the depth of personal satisfaction upon your accomplishment

You're a little disturbed, aren't you? That's okay. We've all been brought up to think of poop as an 'improper' conversation topic. Whatever.

Moving on, my question for you, dear readers: how do you define the perfect poop? And if you could develop a rating system, how would it work?

Poop proudly, friends.